Unheard

“I don’t need a child of my own”. When I said this, many of my friends and family were kind of irritated. Most of them told me, “You never know how precious it is to be a parent.” Since my childhood, I always used to tell everyone that I would adopt a child. I still don’t know how that thought came to my mind. But now, as I am turning 30, I am not going to adopt either. My thoughts have changed. I know I can be the best mom that my child deserves, but I am also aware of my flaws. I have my own weaknesses, which I cannot control. So, there are chances that I might fail as a mom, and I don’t need that. I grew up in a family where I was always alone. I never had anyone when I needed emotional support. My mental health was my own issue. I had problems with everyone around me because I was fighting with myself. After my grandma I never had anyone to pamper me or ask how I was doing. What I had was shouts, anger, fear, and grief. I never grew up, I am still that kid who couldn’t help herself. I am that child who always searched for love in everyone she saw. I never knew what love was or how it would feel.